What what you say hurts, acknowledge the other person's pain. Don't pretend it doesn't hurt or say it "shouldn't" hurt.
Obnoxious Aggression
Challenge directly without caring personally.
Generic praise; "Wow, sounds cool"
Arrogant criticism; "This proposal is a mess. I can't believe how many typos you missed. I know some of your work can be subpar but this is something else"
These kinds of feedbacks are not helpful.
Manipulative Insincerity
When trying to avoid disagreements and don't care enough to confront.
Comes in form of false apologies, insincere agreements, passive-aggressive.
"Maybe this proposal needs to be refined a bit, but of course, you know the project better than I do, so you can make that call. Overall it looks really great"
Ruinous Empathy
Care too much to be straightforward.
Saying "You did great" even when that person didn't.
Giving Radically Candid Guidance
Focus on the reality of the situation, not your perception
Framing the guidance around the situation, the person's behaviour, and the outcomes
Example
Instead of "You're bad at time management"
Say "I asked you to draft the client's proposal (situation). You worked on less urgent projects until just before the deadline, then threw together a proposal full of typos (behaviour). We've likely lost that client's trust"
Helpfulness
Make your intentions clear–you're giving criticism to help, not to be hurtful.
Be as precise as possible–clearly tell them what to do more or less of.
Public praise, private criticism
Don't personalise
Make sure your criticism targets the issue, rather than the person
Instead of "You're careless"
Say "There are too many typos in your reports"
Managing Ambitions and Growth
Five performance and growth trajectory combinations
High performance with gradual growth
These are your "rock stars"
The solid forces who keep things running smoothly.
They are not looking for significant growth–happy where they are.
Support them by recognising their efforts
High performance with rapid growth
These are your "superstars"
who want to move up the ranks and are prepared to dedicate the necessary time and energy to doing so.
They are results-driven
Support them by keeping them challenged with projects and new responsibilities.
Low performance with expected rapid growth
These are team members, who based on their past track record of high performance, should be excelling on the new project.
Maybe this person is not in the right role, change to a suitable role or provide proper training.
Or maybe they are having problems outside work, give them space to recover.
Mediocre
Do okay, but not great work.
Take care of them fast, otherwise, your high-performers will become resentful.
Low performance with no growth
Let this person go
So they can find a different job they will thrive in.
Creating Growth Plans
The life conversation; what is important to them, what do they value in life
The dream conversation; what do they ultimately want out of their career and life.
The planning conversation; focus on finding ways to make their current work clearly translate to preparation for their dreams.
Effective Collaboration
Seven steps to effective collaboration
Listening
There are two types of listening
Quiet listening
allows space in the conversation for the other person to speak their mind.
Loud Listening
involves putting a strong challenge on the table for discussion.
Clarifying
Unclear, half-baked ideas are likely to be dismissed or rejected when presented to others.
Refine the idea until it's impossible for any audience to misunderstand.
Understand who you will be presenting to, and which details are relevant and captivating
Debating
Keep debating separate from deciding
Redirecting the conversation when it becomes clear that someone's arguing to "win" instead of to make a good decision
Asking team members to argue the opposite side of the argument in the second of the debate
Deciding
It's time to stop discussing and start deciding.
The decision-makers should be those who are close to the facts surrounding a situation.
The outcome should be a meeting summary that's sent out to relevant team members to explain the decision.
Persuading
Call an all-hands meeting to persuade eyeone to the idea–so that no one feels left in the dark.
These meetings consist of a presentation and a Q&A session
